There are some triggering points in this article. Trigger warnings are listed immediately below each point, so you can skip the parts you don’t want to read. Having said that, this article contains mentions of rape and abuse, so if you don’t want to risk it, you can avoid this article altogether!
A couple hours ago, a local blogger released a video spelling out some reasons why she’s absolutely not a feminist. I’m mostly okay with that — to each their own, right? But it also hit me how one-sided the debate is in Singapore. There’s very little talk about feminism at all, and when there is, it’s stuff like this that paints a weird picture of feminism. To sum it up, this local YouTube star isn’t a feminist because she thinks third-wave feminism is useless (we can already vote, the wage gap is a myth, shaving your legs and retiring to take care of the family are just symptoms of the system we operate in, and there’s lots of legislation that favours women over men.)
Maybe I got lucky — I never got yelled at for not being a feminist. When I first said I wasn’t a feminist, I got a polite Judith Butler recommendation, and that was that. Fast forward three months and I was (and still am) a fully-fledged feminist. So it pains me when I hear bloggers, both local and abroad, talking about how feminism is just full of mean, causeless women. Firstly, because the feminists who got me involved in feminism are the sweetest people I know, and secondly, because not all feminists are women.
I’m definitely not here to try and convert anyone. I don’t think it’s necessary to run around with a label printer trying to make everyone politically align with myself. I’m aware of the people who don’t like the feminist label, but do all they can to support women and non-binary folks anyway. That’s cool. I’m just here because I’d like to level out the playing field. You’ve heard why some Singaporeans aren’t feminists, and now you can hear why some Singaporeans are.
1. The mythical wage gap
When you bring up the wage gap, you tend to get the same statistic: women earn 79 cents to a man’s dollar. And that’s the point that non-feminists tend to harp on, which is why you get article after article debunking the wage gap “myth”.
Whether or not you believe in the wage gap, one thing is certain: women’s participation in their jobs tends to stutter once we hit the age of 30. It’s not that companies don’t like older women, it’s that society as a whole expects us to be the ones taking sole responsibility of our children. Have you met children? It’s difficult making sure they’re loved and cared for even if you’re not working a 9-to-5. Very few women are physically able to do both! Singaporean households can be quite rigid about the role of the father and the mother, and fathers are less willing to be stay home dads than their wives are. I was fortunate to grow up with a dad who did his best to play a part at home, but I know my experience isn’t national, which is why women’s pay fluctuates so much.
Beyond that, jobs do stereotype men and women. Sometimes, men earn more on account of being offered jobs that are coded male, while women earn less because they are turned away from “male” jobs and given “pink-collar” jobs instead. In Singapore, you can probably see that in the fact that only 8.3% of SGX-listed companies have women as board members. [source]
2. The legal system
Trigger warning: rape
Some people have criticised Singaporean feminists, pointing to the Women’s Charter as evidence that Singapore’s legal system favours women over men. (According to the Women’s Charter, following a divorce, women get alimony while men don’t.) For the record, the Women’s Charter was enacted in the 60’s, long before Singapore was what it is today. The Women’s Charter was necessary at the time because without additional support, most women would be unable to support themselves at all. Today, courts are reluctant to provide financial support to women in divorce cases at all.
And if we’re going to talk about the laws that benefit women, we might as well talk about the laws feminists like me are still angry about. 377a, which criminalises gay sex? I’m angry about that. The fact that Singapore still treats marital rape as an exception to rape? I’m angry about that. Singapore’s refusal to criminalise the rape of men? I’m angry about that too! There are tons of legislative issues that are also feminist issues!
3. Ending girl/girl hate
I love girls. Like, I’m capable of loving girls platonically. And it really frustrates me when people criticise the feminist movement by saying women are more vicious to other women than men are.
Men are actually responsible for more violence against women than women are. While men are more likely to be victims of homicide, out of the women who fall victim to fatal crimes, more than twice as many women were murdered by husbands than were murdered by strangers. [source]
The “viciousness” that women experience from other women is usually on a significantly lower scale. Women are taught from a very young age that we’re in constant competition with other women in every department: we’re taught to compare looks, weight, achievements… In a survey last year, 43% of working Singaporean women worried that helping their female colleagues would be misconstrued as sexism. [source]
When we stop subscribing to the notion that women have to be in a constant cat race, we’re able to love and support each other better! Feminism is about creating a community that cares. Yes, feminists will critique each other and call each other out, but that’s all in the name of helping each other improve.
4. I wanna fight for boys!
Trigger warning: rape
Sure, there are feminists who hate men. There are feminists who have been through shit and who are angry at the men who put them through that shit, or who benefitted off their suffering and exploitation. There are women and non-binary people who have every right to be angry at men. I’m not going to sugarcoat it — you will meet feminists who don’t think very highly of men.
But you will also meet feminists who want to help men, and whose feminism isn’t about man-hating. (Heck, most of the feminists who are uncomfortable with men probably don’t prioritise their misandry!) Feminism is also about how the patriarchy and sexism impact men. We recognise that society teaches men to indulge in a toxic performance of masculinity and shames men who don’t live up to that ideal. We’re just as angry about the fact that men legally can’t be raped as we are about the fact that married women legally can’t be raped! We’re frustrated about the fact guys have to go for National Service! We read bell hooks and agree with her!
5. There are local issues we’re not talking about
Trigger warning: abuse
I’ve heard criticism about being a feminist in Singapore that essentially says “Singaporean women have got it good, why are you still complaining?” I guess I’m still complaining because only certain Singaporean women have got it good. What about the foreign workers who are overworked and treated like property instead of human beings? Feminism means doing something about the masses of domestic workers who get mistreated on a daily basis. [source] What about the rising abuse rates towards sex workers? [source] What about the rights of LGBTQA+ women and non-binary individuals? What about marriage equality? [source] Don’t tell me all Singaporean women have got it good when not all Singaporean women can even get married.
6. It’s about more than just Singapore
Yeah, I grew up with a lot. I grew up with money and a home and a good family. I’ve never been targeted because of my race or gender expression, and I’ve never really felt the wage gap on account of not having worked that long. But that doesn’t mean other people don’t go through these things. Feminism isn’t just about me and what I experience. Feminism is also about listening to the struggles that other people have that I may never experience, and then rallying together with other people to work through those issues.
Feminism is about the kaleidoscope of the human experience, about embracing that diversity, and fighting for change even when it doesn’t directly benefit me. Feminism is about everybody. To shun a movement because there’s nothing I can gain from it would be to ignore the fact that this world is bigger than me. There are problems that are bigger than me and what I can see. Which is why I need a movement that’s bigger than me, a movement that opens up my eyes to what’s going on out there, and rallies with me to change things.
